Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself

I'm posting the early chapters of my second novel, The Sex Amendments, on a writers' critiquing site. Most recently was chapter 12, in which two of the main characters discuss the world in which they live. A fellow writer gave some amazing feedback, describing this single chapter in a manner I can only relate to a scholar analyzing a book beyond the wildest expectations of the author. If I can receive praise like this when I'm only in the editing phase, I can't wait to see what's in store when the product is finished. See below what was written by Victor Diacono:

With an age of political diktat looming over the Western world, the reader can easily associate with the story line of living under legislation engineered to promote procreation in a time of aging populations. One’s mind immediately turns to populist fears of races being overrun by others whose demographics are booming, even if this story is about the World and not the Western World.

This story has been written at a time when the liberal world is up in arms against wacky politics. It makes it a dystopian fantasy that brings to mind the present we live, where the liberal are suddenly faced with realization that the disenfranchised will someday inevitably get to rule everybody’s world too.

The dialogue between the protagonists is also very reminiscent of our times with the cocksure liberal believing that

...the majority of the country would vote for [Libera]. I don’t think Phelps has a chance...

But we all feel that Phelps is destined to win in this tale – we’ve been there! What is shown here (without telling!) is the abyss dividing Logen’s liberal world from Ulula’s ‘food fight’ class whose immediate need lies in food at the table, and not democratic intentions that do not address its immediate needs.


...It took a few explanations before Logen realized food fights in Vera were actual skirmishes...

– a very telling portrayal of the cultural abyss Logen and Ulula are bridging in this coming together of social classes miles apart. The educational divide between Logen and Ulula makes way for both this cultural coming-together and a nice romance,

...Logen felt her forearm rest on his leg...

between a man and a woman from such diverse upbringings. feminate or masculate...

sounds like a solution to the present-day conundrum of solving gender-ambiguity after the event, but it makes the story feel like it is at least a few centuries away from today for Man to have evolved into being born gender-neutral. And if ‘centuries away’ is what the author has in mind, it is reassuring that the opposite sexes still mate in the orthodox way of meeting of the lips (before taking the next, millennia-old, step)!

This was a very enjoyable read even if not the genre of my ambitions. But who knows… I may someday try my hand at the dystopian too! Well done!


Thank you so much for the feedback, Victor!

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